A confused sole
by dark-red-drevil123
Summary: poem that i made will b sticking more poems on 2 it as i think of them, just some poems based on some of my emotions some of the poems will confuse you
1. Chapter 1

_**Im That Thing**_

Im That Thing..

It might hurt

It might sting

I know you hate

That thing

It might hurt

It might sting

But I also know

You love to sing

It might hurt

It might sting

You always did

Love to kick me

In the shin

It my hurt

It might sting

I know you hate

That thing

It might hurt

It might sting

But I know you

Love to hurt

That thing…


	2. Chapter 2

NIGHT IN LIGHT EVERYTHING

NIGHT IN LIGHT EVERYTHING

ISNT BLACK AND WHITE

WHERE ALL IN DIFFRENT

SHADES OF GRAY AND IN THE

END WE ALL JUST FADE AWAY

AND I KNOW THAT YOU WON'T

STAY AND WE ARE ALL IN

DIFFERENT SHADES OF GRAY

THIS WORLD WE ARE ON ISNT

IN BLACK AND WHITE AND IN

THE NIGHT THERE IS ALWAYS

SOME SORT OF LIGHT...


	3. Chapter 3

Black by day white by night  
in the end we still have to fight  
for our rights to be ourselves.


	4. Chapter 4

circal of lie's

Im allways there but you dont see  
you dont look back as ive watched you flee  
ill follow threw the day and night no matter where you go  
ill follow like the night and day,  
as the moon gose down the sun comes up where walking round  
this crystal ball,allways stuck forever more walking  
circals round this world, allways bored but cant change  
what stands out in the dark,becon's of light  
as the moon shines bright, my heart is lost never to be  
found, lost to all even you (its not true)who was the one  
that walked away, i know you wont be coming back again  
ill follow in the shadows hiding in the dark but you  
always stand out from the crowd, as i watch from afar  
u just turn away and dont look back, ill always stay not far  
behind lost in this world no path to take me home,  
so i follow you from afar as the world gose round,  
we just walk this round about of lie's allways walking  
never stopping, now its going it wont stop we are stuck


	5. Chapter 5

**I am loveless!...**

All alone and nobody knows the heart ache  
im going threw , ive not been dumped by anyone  
but i know im ugly and unloved, my heart  
is slowly fading away unloved like a lost  
little pure white dove, love me and stop me  
disappearing, fading into the night like a  
bird taking flight, love me and please don't  
let it be a tease, without love im fading away,  
please someone come save me.. For so far I am  
little loveless Amber...


	6. Chapter 6

Snow Flakes!

I see snow flakes falling from the sky,slowly and swiftly drifting to the ground

delicate little flakes took for granted

only when its gone dose it sink in that

the delicate little flakes are like our happiness

enjoy it in the moments that come by

for they will be left forgotten and will

melt away like little delicate snow flakesmelting in the sun.


	7. Chapter 7

Stuck in this white seamless room. 

Floating floating, i cant see you, floating floating  
I cant feal you, Floating floating, i cant hear you  
floating floating,I'm floating in this pure white room  
slowly going insane for i cant hear,taste,see or feal  
enything but white, slowly losing sanity as im kept in  
this seamless room, how long its been I dont know but  
i cant hear,taste,see,feal or smell enything enymore  
i whisper, then say and finaly scream "Im sorry"  
but i cant hear my own voice, i look down and cant see  
my own body,as i try to curl up into a ball i do not  
feal it at all, soon ill have no sanity left,I close  
my eyes but I still see white,I can not sleep and i  
do not eat, I cant feal my feet, and i hear no tweet,  
when will you come back to and get me, I wish i knew  
what i did to make u mad at me, but master please forgive  
me and come save me from this insanity this pure white  
seamless room installs in me...


	8. Chapter 8

Day & night!

Forever a day and night protector of life

forever to be a war cant just rid the world

and live in eturnal peace life is just one

big tease, forever a day and night somewhere

out there the protector of life

im forever lost in my loves eyes

darkness on earth and all around

im forever lost never to be found.


	9. Chapter 9

Apple, Apple, Apple of my eye...

your the apple, apple of my eye  
I love the sight when you take flight  
And go so high into the sky  
You really are the apple of my eye  
And I sigh in happiness  
Because I know that the Le Fay like  
Person floating on silent winds is my  
One and only love and I have no need  
To spy for I know he wont tell me lie's  
Before he fly's away I know He is mine  
To keep in my heart even though I am  
Earth bound and he belongs in the sky's  
You will always be the apple, apple, apple  
Of my eye's.


	10. Chapter 10

Black null and void eyes.

Here alone in this null and void zone  
with you no more by my side  
you're gone and will never come back  
I'm alone but i still love you  
nobody knows the torturer of love  
even if its in there face,  
i still love you even now your gone  
will i ever see you back where you belong  
alone from birth and left to die  
as i watch the birds fly by across the sky  
slowly falling into null and void eyes  
as you find me slowly dieing inside  
lost in my mind and forever more you help  
the world that you detest as im forgotten  
behind the border of a picture of you and  
me, slowly drifting tiredly lost, lost from  
finding the love once found, now lost again  
as i lose sanity almost instantly, in the  
walls of my mind as i look out from null  
and void eyes, the world will crumble at my  
feet as i spread my black angel wings that  
came up from hell below, now she looks from  
null and void eyes, and there she fly's as  
time goose by, scaring people she don't trust  
, as the earth slowly combusts, but she  
survives always looking out of null and void eyes...


	11. Chapter 11

Emotionless shell

A life as worthless as mine is like walking a very thin line,  
But the life that is mine has never been fine, for i am  
worthless and no one see's the desperation that's in me,  
All they see is what was once there, but now a empty shell,  
And don't bother to look back as they walk away never to see  
the happy girl that once was me, back when i was about three,  
I was so happy that changed dramatically till puberty, Where i  
grew steadily silent and non-responsive, to eny-one around,  
I started to forget what was once there, and what emotions  
felt like, waiting for someone to come along and make me feel  
alive, when you come to me and helped me back on my feet, I  
ended up falling right back down when you walked away it made  
me fell apart, never to feel anymore, I'm a worthless shell  
of a life i once had but it flew away as you walked away...


	12. Chapter 12

Poet skills.

All my poet skill's have gone  
I don't know what went wrong  
hopefully it wont be gone for long  
while i wait for it 2 come back  
I think ill sing a song  
or eat a sack of big Mac's (like the 1s from mc Donald's)  
as im still waiting ill try out this new bong  
oh my what's that pong...  
its coming from the old shack where we  
stick our camping packs..  
I wonder how long it will be  
before my poet skills come back to me  
so i can find my key to unlock the   
star that's sat in a jar..  
Ive travelled near and far  
over seas and in the sky's  
in everything that floats or flies  
to find the key to bring my poet


	13. Chapter 13

slipping,sliding,silky smooth

slipping,sliding,silky smooth

slowly slivering down, drip drop  
plip plop, RED red all i can see  
i see it pooling at my feet,  
puddles froming allways staining  
sliping, sliding, silky smooth  
slipping from the slice of skin  
slowly going down down down  
drip drop, plip plop landing  
in the growing crimson puddle  
forming at my feet, sliding sliping,  
dripping dropping, pooling even  
bigger round my feet my knees are  
going weak, as the silky smooth  
liquid sliding out of the wound,  
my life slowly slipping out of reach  
i no longer see the red crimson blood...


	14. Chapter 14

The unforgiving mist.

I love leather, I love wips, I love feather's,  
I love lip's, you best move your mitts off of my  
Tits and onto my hips, before I pummal you with  
my fist untill you are in strips and are thrown  
into the pit's, I get some tips from the hiss  
of the mist telling me where my next victim sits  
soon another body will be thrown into the pits  
and another name added to the list's, each one  
has been kissed by the unforgiving mist and each  
have had there own moments of bliss and the mist  
will keep giving its tips on that long low hiss  
to the porsen that loves leather, wips, feather's  
and lips, soon another body will be in the pits and  
another name on the list's and the pits will be  
forever hidden by the unforgiving mist.


	15. Chapter 15

There's Nothing.

Here i am alone in the world  
There's nothing im looking for  
There's nothing in my life today  
So why don't you walk this way  
So here I am kill me please and stick me  
Out of my misery, Here i am alone yet again  
Alone in my misery, But what i ask is why  
nobody see's the real me, All they see is  
what i carry, I'm condemned to this life of  
misery, nobody see's what i believe, but i  
wear my heart on my sleeve, even when they  
knock me down I don't even frown, I just act  
the clown of this god-forsaken town, they  
don't see the real me, all they see is what's  
in me, and what can i make you see, what the  
real me is like inside, not the monster other's  
see, why don't we sit down and have some tea,  
and i can show you the real me, when the people  
gang up on me I don't flee from the enemy,  
here i am alone in this world there's nothing im  
looking for, there's nothing in my life today,  
so why don't you walk my way and lay with me for  
the rest of the day, Im not what you see for  
you don't believe me, there's nothing in my life  
today so why don't you walk my way...


	16. Chapter 16

Ugly Odd One Out.

I see beautiful swan's swimming across  
the top of the pond, as they go past  
I can't help but think if I was a bird  
I would be the ugly duckling trailing  
after the beautiful swan's,  
As I sit and watch I see the most  
beautiful swan of all and i know that  
if you my friend were a bird you would  
be that swan i see,  
Im scared I'll loose you when you fly  
away for winter's brake, I know though  
that you will come flying back after  
winter's past,  
Each spring you come back home and even  
more im awed but the beauty that you  
posses, I know ill always be the ugly  
duckling of your past trailing not far  
behind, Yet you always try and include  
me but I always was the ugly odd one out....


	17. Chapter 17

What is lost is never found.

What is lost is never found in the  
shadows of the town  
nothing faded into just one big plane  
its all in different shades of grey  
its never the same when your the one  
with the name, but i know we are the  
same Evan though im the one without  
the fame, I don't want to make the claim  
for i was the one who was cast in shame  
and your the one that is very lame  
now that your the one that did not come  
because you didn't want the fame  
your the one that was loved but have lost  
she died with the rest and your the one  
that was left, what is lost is never  
found in the shadows of this god-forsaken  
town...


	18. Chapter 18

Whisper, Whisper on the wind.

Im crying silently blood on my cheeks,  
Im not weak, I'm just crying because im at deaths door,  
I hear a whisper, a whisper on the wind  
soon I see the headless horseman riding by...  
and I know soon death will come for me,  
so I sit patiently and hope ill see my love again,  
I see my love now looking down at me with tear's in there eyes,  
I smile weakly as I watch them leave,  
soon after they are gone the door opens and death  
comes out, he look's at me before turning around and going  
back in, before he closes the door he say's  
" you don't belong here love's pure fallen angel"  
I look at death and ask  
"how do you know that sir"

He answers back "only a fallen angel can shed  
tears of blood, that angel is also called the black angel  
of love" I am slightly confused by this so he  
says "I come out to find a broken sole and what do I find  
a whole sole and a pure love angel crying tear's of blood"  
with that he closes the door and after watching  
the door for a few seconds, I turn away  
and find my way back to the place my body lie's,  
and as I wake I hear a whisper,  
a whisper on the wind…


	19. Chapter 19

Hateful fate

I have seen not love but hate  
im really not sure if it was fate

And are you my life mate  
im so confused that I cant think  
straight, please oh please almighty  
fate why oh why is it me you  
so desperately hate.


	20. Chapter 20

Children!

Children shout children scream  
children like to skin their knee's  
children shout children scream  
children like to cause a screen

Children shout children scream  
children are always keen to  
SHOUT and SCREAM!


	21. Chapter 21

Always coming back.

Tear's glide down her cheek,  
slowly slowly dripping down,  
you come along and wipe them,  
away, along with the ones she  
shed yesterday,

You always come pick her up  
when she falls down, your  
never there to stop her  
falling, your always there to  
stop her bawling, stopping  
the tear's from falling,

The next day your back again,  
wiping away the tear's still  
silently falling, and stopping her  
from crawling into a dark  
hole, she sits and looks

at you from coal black eyes  
and still the tear's glide silently  
down her cheek and falling  
into this river of blood,

But you always come back to  
try and stop it, always  
wiping away the tear's  
on her face….


	22. Chapter 22

Tears of blood.

I'm sitting silently crying,  
the screaming still ringing in my ear's  
this turmoil inside me howling trying  
to get out, I cant stop this sadness  
and anger tearing me apart, eyelashes  
heavy and sodden the tear's still coming  
I hide my face in a soft cuddly toy but  
its no match to the arms of someone that  
care for you, I have no one i am alone  
I am crying tear's that are unique, Im  
crying tear's of the heart these tear's  
are made of blood...


	23. Chapter 23

ALONE!

Alone, alone, alone  
silence is all i hear  
alone, alone, alone  
this silence is deafening  
alone, alone, alone  
why am i always all alone,  
alone, alone, alone  
Im sat in this deserted town,  
silence, silence,  
silence is all around  
its to loud to hear myself think  
silence silence silence  
my voice not making a sound  
deafening me till i cant scream  
alone alone alone  
some one come stop me being so alone....


	24. Chapter 24

Please! Please! Please!Im sat here on this window-sill of mine,  
looking out threw this misted over window,  
looking out at the sky wondering why  
im living this life of hell, I cant decide  
what to do will some one come help me choose,  
there is nothing left for me to loose,  
someone come take me away please come save  
me from yesterday, I feel weak and alone,  
I have no-one to hold, someone come save me  
from this demon, someone stop me from  
being so glum, Help! Help is what I need  
not some more sadness, its what feeds  
this demon in me, my heart and sole  
slowly fading soon ill be just a empty shell,  
…. Please someone come love me…. Please..  
Please… please…. 


	25. Chapter 25

My Life!

My life is not a book for you to read,  
My life is not on a lead,  
why is everyone trying to get in my head,  
my life isn't something to be controlled  
my life isn't something you can hold  
my life is mine to live  
my life is mine to give  
and my life is mine to waste...


	26. Chapter 26

BeautifulGhost.

Its me me that ghost you see.  
Bloody and bruised, battered and broken,  
but nobody see's this floating beautiful ghost,  
not much for me to do but i need help to bare  
this burden, I cant hold on much longer,  
the x-rays taken showed all the bones but nobody  
looked at the under tones, nobody heard the  
painful moans, I hide each day but he still  
comes, the bruise's grow the bones re-broke,  
there is one that believes in me, but she lives  
across the sea, someone look beneath the lie's  
some one come untie the tie's, my life story  
is one of pain but i stick a smile on my face  
and hide the bruises behind the lace, I try  
and make the most of what is left I am a shell  
, I am a beautiful ghost.


	27. Chapter 27

Fake! Fake! Fake!

Every part of me is real  
none of me is fake, fake, fake!

Every part of me is real  
every part of me you see  
none of me is fake, fake, fake!

I may not be perfect but at least,  
im not fake, fake, fake!

None of me is fake  
no matter what you think  
none of me is fake, fake, fake!

Its all real and true  
what you see is what you get  
none of me is fake, fake, fake!

Every part of me is Real!  
And not FAKE!!!


	28. Chapter 28

Restless Soul.

Im in this human cage,  
im stuck and cant get out,  
im so confused when something's happen..  
Im a soul a restless soul,  
trying to get out of this body so i can fly  
feel's like im looking out of someone else's eyes,  
Im a restless soul trying to escape  
pushing agents the bones  
tearing at the flesh trying to get out  
Im falling apart someone let me out  
but don't kill this cage im in,  
for ive come to love the very thing that is keeping  
me in, at times i show im still here and  
at times i fear you will forget about me  
I tap into the emotions of this cage im in so  
you don't forget that im a restless soul,  
Im a restless soul that's not ready to move on to  
the stair way to heaven...


	29. Chapter 29

Is it really me!

Here i am looking into this mirror  
and i see a beautiful girl staring back at me,  
It cant be me that girl in the mirror  
for i know im not pretty,  
I lift my hand and the girl copy's me  
so i lift my other hand and see if she copy's me  
I frown then smile she dose the same,  
and i realise that we are one and the same,  
And i cant believe It's really me  
I see stood staring oh so beautifully  
and im still thinking  
is it really me i see...


	30. Chapter 30

My freezing fort.

Im sat behind this barricade of pillow's  
my body is shivering im freezing cold  
hidden under these five blankets  
im curled around this hot water bottle  
but im still shacking, silent slips of  
salty water hit this pillow my head is  
resting on, hidden under and behind this  
wall of pillow's from me fear's, I cant  
sleep from fear of my nightmare's, i have  
no shoulder to cry on, I have no arm's to  
hold me threw the night, I have nobody to  
keep me warm, I fear im going to turn into  
a amber-sical (like a ice-sical) as this  
snow storm rage's outside my window,  
someone come keep me warm,  
someone come hold me three the night,  
my soul is weeping and withering  
from loneliness, someone please come save  
me before im frozen to death, no matter  
how much i hide i can not stop this nightmare  
coming, im going insomniac trying to run

Away from the pain...  
please come stop my heart from freezing...  
please come find me in this blanketed

Freezing fort...


	31. Chapter 31

Little black book.  
  
Hello my little black book  
my life is coming of the hook  
im spiralling round, round and round  
im unwinding, help, help, help me out of  
this bottomless well, no rope or chain is  
long anoth to reach, im still falling down  
down, down, i don't know if my feet will ever  
touch the ground, and i still don't hear the sound  
of water running, oh, oh help me out of this blinding well,

I feel searing pain in my back and as i reach i feel  
something new, it is something very smooth, i reach  
back and feel the base, i follow the bone and realise  
that they are wings, but not just eny, It would seam  
im having alone of deaths own wing..

My little black book i can hear the wind sing to me...


	32. Chapter 32

Im unique.

Me me im unique me me in unique me me im unique  
Im maybe what you seek,  
me me im unique, I am not a freak,  
I am not meek or weak, im just very unique  
me me im unique, im not the same as other girls  
me me im unique, i am not a freak, my life  
is not a life of fame, my hair is very tame  
my hair has no curls, im not like other girls  
that like expensive pearl's,  
im a blue eyed, brown haired, unique girl,  
im not the same, i am unique,  
yes me me im unique...


	33. Chapter 33

Broken heart, broken dreams..

I smile but it don't reach my eyes,  
Im looking at this heart brake sky,  
making my way threw this broken town  
trying to hide my frown, Im always  
looking down so other's cant see,  
this heart broken sky always follows  
me, im haunted by it all the time,  
I doubt i will ever be fine, the tears  
i shed are never seen, all my loves  
are never ment to be, my heart is  
always broken and i guess will never  
mend, each love i had i thought where  
a god send, no matter how much i try  
to flee this heart brake sky always  
follows me, my dreams are broken just  
like my heart, I wish i could go back  
to the start, my heart my dreams where  
they ever ment to be, would anyone  
ever really love me, this is my broken  
heart and my broken dreams...


	34. Chapter 34

My Curse My Pain.

Hunched over in pain wondering if ill stay sane,  
on my knee's on the ground, thinking please  
let me be found, so much pain in my back,

Pain is not what I lack, suddenly the pain get worse,  
this is my own curse, wing's of midnight black  
just burst from my back, the pain slowly fades  
and I know im still sane,

I try to stand but its all in vain for im still in to  
much pain, blood dripping down my back  
from wings of midnight black, the pain still  
there and this is my curse and im hoping the  
pain wont get worse,

My curse, my pain, my curse, my pain it's all the  
same and the pain will hit me again, these wings  
a sign of my pain and the only sign of my curse.


	35. Chapter 35

Thud, Thud, Thud!

Blood, blood thick as watered down mud,  
Blood, blood red crimson blood my heart  
is going thud, thud, thud, As I see the blood,

Blood, blood, slipping silently from the cut,

My heart is still going thud, thud, thud,  
why is it I have no love in my life,

I lift the knife again and make another cut,  
and I watch as the blood silently slip's out  
of the cut and I can still here my heart  
going thud, thud, thud!


	36. Chapter 36

**A**mber Louise Jones

17 Camrose Road

Caerau, Cardiff

Cf5 5EQ

Tel: 07901 811 500

Email: .uk

Personal Profile

I am someone who is very talented in the arts, I am intelligent,

I have good time keeping and I am logical, creative, reliable, determined, polite, motivated and honest. I enjoy working with computers and I always keep an open mind.

Training

The CAD Centre (UK) Ltd I am working towards NVQ Level 1 I.T Users

- Word Processing Software

- Website Software

- Artwork and Imaging Software

- Basic Skills and numeracy

- City and Guilds Key Skills Level 1

Education

Cwrt Yr Ala Junior School 1999-2003

Mary Immaculate High School – Sep 1st 2003 / Jan 3rd 2004

Home Tutored 2004 – 2009

Subjects covered:

English

Art

Maths

I.T

Cooking Tech

P.E

**Work Experience**

Currently seeking work experience through the CAD Centre (UK) Ltd for my NVQ

**Hobbies and Interests**

I enjoy poem writing I started writing poetry December 2008 I currently have 68 poems and I am hoping to publish them.

I also enjoy writing short stories, dancing, playing Internet Pool, and drawing

Art, Swimming and Acting, I am very creative.

**References **


End file.
